A Napa Fairytale: We Ride off Into the Night

10/10/10 was winding down and it was time to send us off into the world as husband and wife. The remaining guests gathered in the courtyard to wish us well, high-fiving us through their tunnel of love.

I envisioned rose petals for the send-off, but we improvise pretty well, and our families rallied with their centerpieces and arms.

Once we popped up on top of the stairs, Ryan mounted the bike and a small panic set into my excitement. "Can he drive?! Isn't he wasted?!" Once on the bike behind him, I seriously contemplated hopping off when he couldn't start it right away. I was honestly pretty scared. I remember saying, "Ummm..I don't think this is such a good idea", but no one seemed to hear me.

He assured me he was fine (which I knew he wasn't), but I figured if I was going to die, this night was as good as any. The engine roared, the guests did too, and a sudden jolt of cool air rushed past my ears.

(photos by Luke Snyder Studio)

Clutching my groom for dear life, we rode off into the night for the first time as husband and wife!

A Napa Fairytale: The Garter and Bouquet Tosses

I've been looking forward to sharing this one with you! I'm always the one to make the faces, but Mr. Barrettes definitely got into the spirit with the garter toss...

Someone pulled out a chair, a circle began to form around it and I was summoned to have a seat. (I also should have been reminded to change back into my purple pumps, but you know how things go.) My groom was quick to join me in the middle of the circle and I could tell by his face he was getting a little saucy. I whispered to him to try not to show the whole room my sous-vêtements.

About halfway down my thigh he decided to bite it and pull it down. Maybe I should wear these things more often! Glad it arrived in the mail that day or I would have missed out on the garter fun.

Cheating a little! I see those hands! Must have been my dancer calf. ;)

He was stoked when he got it off and he ripped the little white bow off of it-- with his teeth! I had purchased 2 so I didn't care what happened to it, but it was funny to see the little white bow laying in the middle of the floor.

He didn't waste any time in tossing it over his shoulder. The single men scurried to get near him and he launched it...landing it right in front of the only gay man out there! Yay, Dyl!

Next, it was my turn. I motioned for the ladies to come closer towards me, away from the light fixture. I could only imagine my bouquet ending up swinging from the ceiling.

Yes, I used my real bouquet. What's the point of throwing a fake one? I have gorgeous photos of it looking fresh and pretty, I didn't need to save them until they were dead.

My cousin, Olivia (the florist's daughter coincidentally) caught the purple pretties. She's only 16 so I'm hoping she isn't really the next to be married. Yes, yes, I know, technically every one should be over 18, but seriously, there isn't wedding police. ;)

Dylan, very gentlemanly, pushed the garter up her leg and everyone laughed and gave them a round of applause.

(photos by Luke Snyder Studio)

With that business taken care of, the rest of the night was left for dancing!

I know many brides and grooms balk at the whole tossing thing, but there was no question as to whether we would do it at our wedding. I like the tradition, I think it's cute, and it's suppose to be fun! Not to mention our guests loved it. It is a wedding, ya'll-- there is only one time in your life that you can be a bride and toss the bouquet, do it!

A Napa Fairytale: Cake Cutting

My mouth is watering as I sit to write this post! Our cake was delish! The bottom layer was red velvet, the middle, fruit basket, and the top tier was german chocolate.

 I almost didn't want to cut into it, it was so pretty! It was a surprise to both of us, as Mr. Barrettes' mom took the cake's care into her own from the beginning of our planning. I sent her some inspirational photos and she took care of the rest.

Click below to hear the song that DJ Adam played during our cake cutting! It was so cute and all of my cousins started singing along-- which naturally made me sing along!

We're not ones for cake-smushing, but we did rub it on each other's noses before feeding it. I'm not sure why we picked it up with our hands instead of using forks...

I think that is all the cake I had for the evening. Like I said before, I felt like I had to be everywhere at once so I didn't really sit down at all. I would have liked to dig into that deliciousness a little more.

My groom really liked doing the twisty arms drinking thing. It was cute. This was like the third time we did it already!

After the cake cutting, the dancefloor heated up again and outside in the courtyard, guests were enjoying the photobooth, the twinkling lights, and the cool Napa night!

A Napa Fairytale: Father/Daughter Dance

Ok, I know I said there would be no more tears, but I forgot about this one! I pretty much cried through my entire dance with my dad. Once you hear the song you may understand why. I tried my best to suck it up and brush them away, but eventually the chorus would roll around again and bring fresh tears to my eyes.

I can't really remember what we talked about-- I was so emotional. I remember feeling like this moment was a long time coming. I'd been away from home for so many years, traveling for dance and my dad was always very supportive of my choices, even if they were ones he would not have made. He'd been so warm to more than one boyfriend over the years and finally the moment of us dancing together at my wedding felt like, you know, pretty big. Isn't that what dads think about the minute they welcome a baby girl into the world? The weight of our journey to this moment hit me pretty hard.

I thought this photo of my family standing with their arms wrapped around eachother while we were dancing, was so cute. Mr. Barrettes is definitely singing along.

(photos by Luke Snyder Studio)

Wah! I was such a a cry baby. Some of our guests later told me that they hadn't cried during the wedding, but they got a little weepy watching our father/daughter dance. Mr. Barrettes' dance with his mom was a lot more fun and entertaining!

Did you lose it with your dad? What song did you dance to?

A Napa Fairytale: The Groom and Bride Speak

After the best man cheers'ed to a long marriage and lots of babies, the groom took the mic and delivered his speech. He had been preparing for awhile and he personally thanked almost everyone in the room. I don't know why I was so nervous for him to speak, but I felt like I was holding my breath the whole time. I was finally able to exhale when he raised his glass and toasted our guests.

Then suddenly everyone was looking at me! What? I hadn't prepared to speak! I didn't think brides did that! But there was an odd silence and a weird anticipation in the room so I stood as my mom gave me that look, as if to say "your turn". Well, I thought, I'm good at winging it!

We all know I'm not the shy type and I'm quite comfortable being on stage, so I just went for it. I thanked my parents for making the gorgeous evening possible, making their only daughter's wedding dreams come true, and Dr. Houtz for adding that extra special touch and traveling from Hershey to officiate the ceremony.

I let my eyes wander around the room, saying something special about Mr. Barrettes' family, our siblings, my high school friends, my 18 younger cousins, and when my eyes finally came to rest at my bridal party table, I started to crack.

I called out Amy and thanked her for being one of the only friends on Guam I didn't have to be fake or drunk to be around--she liked that one. She had spent the last year being our third-wheel, dining, hiking, and hanging out with Mr. Barrettes and I, and she knew us as a couple better than anyone. 

Talking about my man-of-honor was easy. I told the story of how we met 10 years ago, falling in love with eachother as we spent almost everyday together for 6 months. It was the start of a beautiful friendship because, "as I thought I was falling in love with him, I quickly realized he just didn't quite like me like that."

Last came my groom. I told our guests we had been looking for each other and we were lucky enough to find one another on a tiny little island in the middle of the Pacific. It started slow, but within weeks we were inseparable, within months we were living together, and one month later he proposed. Our 2-year engagement was not without trials and moments of drama, but we were learning about each other and what we had learned was that we wanted to share the best years of our lives together.

I thanked him for loving me the way I needed to be loved and for accepting me as I was, a silly mess of imperfections, crazy ideas, and dreams of a fun-filled, big life.

(photos by Luke Snyder Studio)

I thanked everyone for making their way to wine country to be with us on such a magical day and we raised our glasses to me and my new husband! There would be no more tears and the party swung into 5th gear!

"Something Old" Un-hinges Me

I haven't written the post where I complain about one whole side of my family being absent from our wedding-- mostly because I believe the less energy I give it, the easier I can get over it.

However, I did see a handful of those family members at my brother's recent wedding and I'm so happy that we did get some celebratory face-time. I love them...and I tried my best to put on my I-ain't-mad-atcha face. We haven't been super close, but I appreciate the time we do see eachother.

Almost immediately after entering the rehearsal dinner, my dad's cousin stands and says she'd like to say something. She instantly becomes emotional and I can just feel my repressed tears inching their way to the corners of my eyes. She produces 2 rolled-up and ribboned papers and says one is for my brother's bride and one is for me. Me?! This isn't about me! If you want to do me, you have to wait another month and come to MY rehearsal dinner!

But I kindly take the roll and untie the purple bow. I can barely make out what it says before those silly little tears take flight. And by flight, I mean, everywhere. All over my face, my dress, my dinner--I clearly become unglued in front of my brother's entire rehearsal dinner. Mortification!!!

The letter reads:

To Melissa and Brianne,

Tradition has it that a bride, on her wedding day, wears something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

Here is "something old" for each of you, but first some H----- family genealogy.

On August 3, 1911 Sara B (1890-1978) married Robert I (1887-1918). Sara and Robert were my maternal grandparents. Robert was the brother of Ione May I (1882-1972), who married Ralph H, Nick and Brianne's paternal great grandfather.

When my grandmother (Sara) passed away, I inherited many of her linens. This year her daughter, Jeannette (1912-2010), my mother, passed away and I have been going through many of these linens again. Among them I found two lovely lace-edged handkerchiefs. I'm sure they date from the early 20th century if not earlier.

I pass one along to each of you, Melissa and Brianne, as a memento of those who went before in the extended H----- family.

Your cousin,

Terry Ann S. S.

The handkerchief was in a plastic zipped bag, attached to the letter.

I hadn't even thought of my "something old", but there it was sitting in my tear-stained lap. "Why did you become so un-hinged?" You may ask. And honestly I don't know what to tell you other than all of those feelings about my dad's side of the family being unable to attend (for one reason or the other), bubbled-up to the surface. The early 20th century handkerchief will be the only symbol of that family at my wedding.

I'm not sure how I will incorporate it into my wardrobe. Maybe sew it to the inside of my dress? Maybs fold it into my bouquet? Or dare I even use it as it was intended-- to wipe my tears (of joy, of course)? I'll keep it in a safe place and let it tell me what it wants to do on my special day.

Did something shatter your composure in your planning process? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Superstition, Sm-uperstition...

...or is it schmu-perstition? Whatever, you get it!

(source)

My brother is getting married next week and my wedding is 5 weeks later. Whenever I mention this to someone, usually they give me a look that says, "Is your family crazy?" Older Asian women simply cringe and say, "BAD LUCK!"

In Filipino culture, like many other Asian cultures, it is considered bad luck for siblings to marry in the same year. "Sukob" is much like a curse, causing misfortune to befall couples marrying in the same year as their sibling. Luckily, our family is not very superstitious and our elders have not at all urged us to postpone one of the weddings. I think we wormed our way through a loophole--supposedly this does not apply to siblings of opposite sex. My brother is also younger than me, but as we're already pushing it, let's keep that between us!

And while we're at it, October is supposedly unlucky, as is marrying on one of your birthday numbers. Mr. Barrettes' birthday is on the 10th of May. Oops. Here is a little ditty for your entertainment:

Married when the year is new, 
He'll be loving, kind and true. 
When February birds do mate 
You wed nor dread your fate. 
If you wed when March winds blow 
Joy and sorrow both you'll know. 
Marry in April when you can 
Joy for maiden and the man. 
Marry in the month of May 
And you'll surely rue the day. 
Marry when the June roses grow 
Over land and sea you'll go. 
Those who in July do wed 
Must labour for their daily bread. 
Whoever wed in August be, 
Many a change is sure to see. 
Marry in September's shine, 
Your living will be rich and fine. 
If in October you do marry 
Love will come, but riches tarry. 
If you wed in bleak November 
Only joys will come, remember 
When December's snows fall fast, 
Marry and true love will last. 
(author unknown)

Are you balking any superstitions? Should I be taking any preventative measures against wedding misfortune?