23 Hours of Travel

We leave Guam on tomorrow at 10am and land in Baltimore at 7:30pm the same day. How is that possible, you ask? Easy, we're flying back in time! Here in Guam, we are 14 hours ahead of EST. Our flight is broken-up by a layover in Japan, but our total air time is roughly 19 hours. It's not "fun" by any means, but now with the addition of Baby Barrettes flying under the seat in front of me, things should be very interesting...

I have been waiting for these days for weeks...months...years. Our wedding has always seemed like this far off 'thing' that always seemed forever on the horizon. I've had so much time to prepare, yet I feel like it's all going to be whipped together in a whirlwind of commotion!

I am promising myself to take it day-by-day and really enjoy all the little moments. This thing is only happening once. This ain't no dress rehearsal! But, I'm sooo ready! Let's go get married and celebrate the start of something good! See you on the flip-side, hive!

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Superstition, Sm-uperstition...

...or is it schmu-perstition? Whatever, you get it!

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My brother is getting married next week and my wedding is 5 weeks later. Whenever I mention this to someone, usually they give me a look that says, "Is your family crazy?" Older Asian women simply cringe and say, "BAD LUCK!"

In Filipino culture, like many other Asian cultures, it is considered bad luck for siblings to marry in the same year. "Sukob" is much like a curse, causing misfortune to befall couples marrying in the same year as their sibling. Luckily, our family is not very superstitious and our elders have not at all urged us to postpone one of the weddings. I think we wormed our way through a loophole--supposedly this does not apply to siblings of opposite sex. My brother is also younger than me, but as we're already pushing it, let's keep that between us!

And while we're at it, October is supposedly unlucky, as is marrying on one of your birthday numbers. Mr. Barrettes' birthday is on the 10th of May. Oops. Here is a little ditty for your entertainment:

Married when the year is new, 
He'll be loving, kind and true. 
When February birds do mate 
You wed nor dread your fate. 
If you wed when March winds blow 
Joy and sorrow both you'll know. 
Marry in April when you can 
Joy for maiden and the man. 
Marry in the month of May 
And you'll surely rue the day. 
Marry when the June roses grow 
Over land and sea you'll go. 
Those who in July do wed 
Must labour for their daily bread. 
Whoever wed in August be, 
Many a change is sure to see. 
Marry in September's shine, 
Your living will be rich and fine. 
If in October you do marry 
Love will come, but riches tarry. 
If you wed in bleak November 
Only joys will come, remember 
When December's snows fall fast, 
Marry and true love will last. 
(author unknown)

Are you balking any superstitions? Should I be taking any preventative measures against wedding misfortune?

Registry Lust: Vera Wang Love Knots

Remember me? The girl who wasn't sure about wedding registry? Color me converted! I am obsessed with this collection from Vera Wang and thought I'd share its simple elegance with you. I added the available items to our Amazon registry but so many of the pieces are unavailable there. Looks like those gift cards will come in handy!

It all started with this kissing bell. I was thinking of doing bells as favors, but the price per bell was too steep for 100+ guests. I did find $1-2 bells, but after seeing this one I was design-spoiled and have sinced move on to other favor ideas. 

Napkin Rings and Candles

Vanity Box and Tea Light Holders

10" Vase and Compact Mirror

Of course there are dishes, stemware, and flatware available as well.
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Well, that did it for me. Sent me into the clicking frenzy I was waiting for! Did one piece of houseware send you on a registry runaway?

Just in the nick of time!

OMG I thought we were going to leave Guam without having received our wedding rings! I ordered them from Etsy and let the seller know when we would be leaving---she mailed them out with about 4 days to spare! I loved these rings the minute I saw them (over a year ago), and messaged the seller personally when I saw her shop was recently closed. I NEEDED those rings! She was more than happy to work with me; I think the fact that I blogged so much about them won her over...

My point-and-shoot doesn't do them justice. The colors are so vibrant! I fell in love with the purple band, but Mr. Barrettes couldn't be convinced to wear purple so he opted for the blue. We're still matchy, but with our own individualities in there. The engraving reads, "All buttoned up. 10.10.10". Mr. Barrettes used that phrase to tell a friend we'd become engaged and it has stuck ever since. My ring is only 3mm and the engraving is so teeny-tiny, it's just barely legible. Amazing. How'd they do that? Here is a better shot of mine:

Ok, so you can barely see it in the photo, but I will have our photog get some ring shots for sure. I probably should have made sure it looked good with my engagement ring, but sometimes I just get a wild hair and suffer the consequences later. Thankfully, I love them together!

The titanium of the band is slightly darker than my e-ring setting, but it sort of goes with our whole color theme anyway. We have decided that we will upgrade our wedding bands as our marriage grows, as long as they're always somewhat similar.

Did you are your spouse choose different rings? Do you plan on changing rings throughout the years?

My Guam Bachelorette!

It started out with shots. It ended with shots. Ryan came home and found me on the bathroom floor. Yes, it was one of those nights. My hard-partying days are over, but something came over me! Bridesmaid Amy did a fab job-- we played games, wore silly masks; I had a super-fun violet feather boa and 2(!) princess veils. I started on my "Bachelorette Checklist" at our 2nd stop and it was all downhill from there... 

Facebook Faux Pas?

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I'm just as guilty as the next person when in comes to Facebook stalking---err-- "research". I have certainly seen wedding photos of Facebook friends mere minutes after they stepped into their venue. Guests are excited and iPhones and Blackberries come out to play and before you know it, your months of planning and preening are reduced to a photo on someone's "Mobile Uploads".

Maybe this is a bit of a stretch, but with all the dough we are dishing out for professional photos, I'm not sure if I want Facebook to be the first platform to present our wedding day on. Is it wrong for me to ask our guests not to post photos of us on their Facebook? It is a vacation for many of them, and I understand  it is their own experience and obviously I'm not opposed to sharing photos of themselves or the winery or any of the pre or post-events. I'm certainly not going to ask my friends not to post their own photos, but can I ask them not to post photos of the Bride and Groom?

I want to be able to pick and choose which photos I want to share with the world. Is that too much to ask? In the era of insta-share, is it okay for me to want to keep our wedding day a little close to the chest?  I am totally one of those people who 'un-tags' themselves in bad photos!!! I sort of feel weird placing a Facebook ban on wedding photos. I have seen ideas where the couple asks friends to upload their photos to online albums, so I know that is an option. Help me hive! Am I being too much of a brat? What is the best way to go about this situation?

Bridesmaids Dresses: We're Sooo Close, Help Me Decide!!!

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When I last left you regarding my BM dresses, I was leaning towards everyone having a different dress. But in the back of my mind, I knew I wanted my 2 cousins to wear the same dress and this purple pretty was the first inspiration photo I sent them. Cut to 8 weeks to the wedding: I found almost this exact dress at BCBG, 2 of them, in each BM's size! 

(Me modeling the BCBG dress to bbm to my cousins.)

BM Lisa found this dress on her own, and it's super perfect for her (the mannequin is bigger than her; it will zip). As for BM Amy, we're still looking. I wanted to shy away from everyone wearing the same color, but that is the direction we are heading. Amy and I both liked a silver dress that she put on hold, but now it won't really go with the other dresses:

So now I'm thinking about asking Amy and Lisa to wear a charcoal gray or black dress so they will offset my cousins' purple bow dresses. OR, I do the nice thing and keep Lisa in the dress she already bought and have Amy find something purple. 

What do you think? Everyone in purple, or 2 in purple, 2 in dark grey/black?

On Being the Eldest of 20...

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...grandchildren, that is!

Brother Barrettes and I have the luxury of being able to start family wedding traditions in our generation. He is marrying exactly 5 weeks before me at a resort in the Poconos and I'm trying to think of something we can both do at our weddings that all of our younger cousins can participate in. At 29, I'm the oldest, Brother Barrettes is 27, and at the youngest end of the spectrum we have a little princess, who on our wedding day will turn 4 years old.

I was dancing in my living room while sprucing up the place, and it occurred to me that at every family event, we always end up doing line dances.  I know, the Electric Slide and Macarena are pretty lowbrow, but everyone in our family participates! All of my cousins will hit the dancefloor and they (especially the little ones) can move. Feeling their energy, even Mr. Barrettes has been known to breakdance.

I'm thinking about some sort of 'Dance-off' and the Bride and Groom would pick the winner. We'd engrave the winner's name onto a small trophy and he/she would keep it until the next family wedding. I'm going to run this idea by Brother Barrettes and Soon-to-be SIL and see what they think!

Can you imagine starting a Dance-off at every wedding hereafter in our family? Good idea or Bad Idea? What reception family traditions have you witnessed? What else could I do that my cousins could incorporate in their weddings in the years to come?

The White Dresses, Part 1

If you've seen Inception, you know that an once an idea is implanted in your brain it grows like a seed and sometimes its hard to tell where it came from. So-- I don't know where, when, or how my idea was planted, but somehow I've always just known I would wear my Mother's dress.

I never dreamed of big fancy white dresses or princess gowns, and since I've worn so many costumes throughout my performing years, I didn't want to feel like I was wearing a costume and performing a bride. Mom Barrettes' dress is pretty and simple and perfect, but it needs a 'punch' to update it a tad. While I want to wear her dress, I'm not thrilled with the idea of going back to the 1980's!

Let's Talk Tats, Part Deux

I have been preparing myself to change my last name. Sometimes I think its no big deal and other times I struggle with becoming 'my new name'. Its a lot of "N"s-- 5 to be exact. I have practiced writing my new name (much like I did when I was in 6th grade with my crush's name), and haven't got it down to a science just yet. I miss making the capital "H"of my current name.

So as we sat at the pool yesterday for Bridesmaid Amy's birthday and Ryan was preparing to start his latest chest piece, I starting drawing Hs on our pizza box, and it hit me-- I would get my capital H, in my own handwriting, as a way to keep that part of myself.

At the shop the artist told me that actually my H was quite hard to tattoo. With such distinctive lines and curves, he said it would be like a final exam if one was a student of tattoo art. I didn't want much embellishment, I know my tattoo style is "less is more". You may recall my wrist tattoo botch-up.  I was rEEEEEally happy with the result. 

I'm Starting to Have Wedding Dreams.

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...And not pretty ones like this. I dreamed that we were getting married at my grandparent's house in New York. The day of the wedding, my MOH called and said he had to work and couldn't come. An hour before the ceremony, I was driving around wet-haired and bare-faced with my brother passing out invitations. Mom called to tell me the Korean BBQ that was catering the event had scammed us and run off with our money.

When do I start to dream that I'm Cinderella?

[VIDEO] Save the Date!

I started this almost a year ago and forgot about it until I was editing show videos! Enjoy!

Spotlight on Baby Barrettes

Baby Barrettes is a really cool dude. He loves the beach and is always the first one in the water. He has more human friends than dog friends and we're really excited to introduce him to all of his furry relatives in the USA. His favorite treats are apples, although he will totally eat broccoli. We let him grow out his hair as long as he wanted, but now with the wedding coming up we have been dog-scaping him.

Miss Barrettes' Book Club

I'm definitely digging this book. I commend the author for doing the research and sharing it with the rest of us. As I am very close to the beginning of my own marriage, Ms. Gilbert gives me food for thought when she writes of the Hmong women: "Neither the grandmother nor any other woman in that room was placing her marriage at the center of her emotional biography..."(pg. 35).

This is interesting to me because throughout the years (and various boyfriends), I have found that really no man can be the center of my emotional biography. I know when I need to talk to a woman. When I want a specific response, women are really the ones to go to. Our emotional wells are deeper than most men I know, and inevitably I'm frustrated when I don't get the emotional response I know I want, and men get frustrated when they can't help, or give you what you want. I'm not saying that men aren't sensitive to our feelings; they do give emotional support, and really really great hugs, but come on, they don't "get it" like your girlfriends do. Just ask your man if he wants to talk about feelings :) Do yourself a favor, go to the right friends when you need something specific. Or tell your partner exactly what it is that you need. And if you don't know, figure it out. How can you get what you need if you don't know what it is? Just sayin.....

Gilbert also writes about our freedom to choose, based on "the emotional trademark of [our] culture to seek happiness" (pg 43). That is absolutely true. I have always pursued what ever it was that "made me happy" in the moment. That is just the way its always been! The problem with this kind of liberating freedom is that several things contribute to happiness and you can't always have/do them at the same time. For example, it has been difficult to nurture and maintain relationships when all I've wanted to do is travel. And in the end, the relationship, or the job had to go. Happiness is something we do have a right to pursue, but there is a fine line when it comes to other people "making you happy". While your partner should contribute to a 'happier you', they don't live to make you happy. That kind of expectation is the groundwork for battle.

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Lets Talk Tats...

I have tattoos. Seven tattoos. My first one was inked here on Guam ten years ago and rests on my lower back. Its your typical "tramp stamp" as my Mom fondly calls it, as its a magnolia bloom with the sign of the Pisces in the middle. Easily hide-able.

Number 2 is a small purple Hershey's Kiss in the nook of my hip (cover-able by a simple bikini bottom), that was inked in Buenos Aires.

Number 3 sits on my ankle and is the Latte Stone, the same little shape that is on our Save the Dates.

Its numbers 4-6 that we are discussing today, as they are much more visible and their display is questionable for the BIG SHOW.

Adventures in Registry

Isn't it everyone's wildest dream to run down shopping aisles and say, "I want THAT, I want THAT, one of these...", without having to fish out their wallets at the checkout line? If so, why am I having such reservations about just going for it?

I thought registering for gifts would be pretty simple, but it turns out that I'm having trouble clicking on the button that reads, add this to registry. As a guest at a wedding for a couple that I know and love, why would I want to give them flatware? Aren't my guests going to be bored by giving us houseware that we don't have a place for? As a couple already *ahem* living together, we already have stuff. And I imagine once we leave the island and move back home, we will get rid of said stuff and accumulate new stuff on our own. What fun is getting a blender for you wedding?!

Ryan really wants a snowboard and I want to upgrade my photography with a new camera. He wouldn't mind some camping gear and I could use a bike. But then again, we wouldn't be using these things in Guam and they'd end up in storage until we moved anyway. When I ask Ryan for his opinion he says, "What about things to build our house, like tile?" WHAT! TILE? Congratulations on your wedding guys, here's a box of tile for you!

So I'm back to square one. I have registered at the ubiquitous Crate & Barrel for the routine housewares, but everytime I look at the registry I'm so uninspired. I've also registered at Amazon.com, which basically means everything under the sun can be added to that list. While I can guarantee that one of the first items on that registry will be Canon EOS Rebel, I'm waiting for a brilliant streak to send me into a clicking frenzy. And to my savvy guests, I beg you to use your imagination. Please don't give me forks.

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But he likes it short...

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I found these hair-spiration images and immediately saved them to remind me why I'm growing my hair out. Whenever I start to have a little bit of growth past my shoulders, I suddenly have the urge to go back to my angled bob. The grass is always greener isn't it...

After I had washed and dried and flat-ironed my locks, and felt really happy with the end result (seriously, alcohol-free is good for the hair), Ryan says, "I really like when your hair is short. Its pretty that way." Ugghhhhhhhhh. I have been growing it out for the wedding because there is so much more you can do with more length, but how can I argue with that! He never tells me he likes my hair! (well, I suppose he just did-- and the winner is short.)

(the last time I angled my bob, Feb. 2010)

So therein lies the problem. I know ultimately the decision of how I want my hair to look on my wedding day is mine (and MOH's). I thought that years from now, when I'm looking at photos, I'd want to see long and healthy tresseses shining back at me. But lets be honest. I wouldn't wear my hair DOWN for the wedding. There would be some form of up-do. And we could use extentions for that. The only time I like wearing my hair down is when its short and framing my face.

Short or Long? Bangs or no Bangs? Does every bride lament this decision?

Oh, Guam!

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Since I'm writing to you all the way from Guam, I thought I'd take a minute to share some photos of our little island paradise! Its a great spot to Honeymoon for those of you willing to part with $1400 (from USA) for airfare. Most of Guam's visitors are Japanese and Chinese families looking for a quick island getaway.

Barrettes enjoying sunset.

What I love most about living on Guam are the sunsets. Almost every evening from 6-7pm the sky puts on a show. Never have I seen sunsets anywhere that come as close to the ones on Guam.

Me with Bridesmaid Amy

We also have some beautiful beaches, which look just as pretty in the daytime.

Mr. Barrettes at Country Club of the Pacific

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Not much here as far as cities are concerned, but we have our fair share of nightlife and shopping. Super high-end fashion stores like Gucci and Chanel are popular with the Japanese, greatly contrasting the rest of the retail on island. We don't have Starbucks or Gap, but we have a massive Kmart.

(Baby Barrettes cooling off at the beach)

He needs sunglasses!

Its easy to see why Mr. Barrettes and I have been able to live far away from home for so long. But now that we are tying the knot and thinking about family, our days living on Guam are numbered.

(all photos by Miss Barrettes unless otherwise noted)

Have you ever lived far away from your family? What brought you back home?

Faux Fitting

The morning of my Mom's flight out of Guam we met the girls at Iridescent for our 'Faux Fitting'. I wanted my Mom to have the experience of dress shopping because my wedding dress experience is a bit different. We will be modifying her wedding dress for me to wear during the ceremony, and I will then wear a fabulous little white number for the reception. So.... no true "Say Yes to the Dress" moment for us.
Knowing that I wouldn't actually be falling in love with a dress, I jumped right in to try a few different styles, just so we could get some idea of what we did like. At the time of this fitting we had plenty of time to play with the details. I already have a pretty good idea of how I would like her dress to be manipulated so the seamstress has her work cut out for her.

After a few dresses, I was getting bored with their selection and decided to try a veil, since I truly don't know what I'm doing in that area yet. I freaked out a little once it was on my head! Ahhh! A veil!! Its real!!!

Friend Barrettes played dress-up as well and she tried on one dress that I actually really liked. Well, I say that loosely. I liked it better than most of the dresses there. I'm sure had there been a better selection, and more dresses in my size, it wouldn't have been my favorite....but we worked with what we had. I really did feel like a BRIDE in it. It fit me well and flattered my semi-curveless body...

Pretty right?! This just makes me that much more excited for my real dress! Can't wait until my Mom and I have that true moment when we know its perfect...♥

What was your "Say Yes to the Dress" moment? How did you know it was THE ONE?